TODAY I HAD TO TAKE A BREATH…
I woke up and immediately went to my phone because I ended up sleeping in, later than I wanted to. Why? The answer is due to insomnia, plus the anxiety of being in South Korea, on top of trying to manage the time difference between South Korea and America.
Nevertheless, I came across a company’s name, here on LinkedIn, specifically I ran across the owner's profile, of this company. For context, the owner used to be my friend; I used to work for him in Chicago. And just from seeing his name . . . I was triggered. It took me back to that uncomfortable space, living in Chicago years ago. What this revealed to me was that I still wasn't healed from the heartbreak, the micro aggressions, the gaslighting, the bias work culture, the betrayal, and the lack of accountability, from the entire organization and also the lack of support from the community that supports it; My former friend was a white man, with much power in the Chicago Arts community (the city I grew up in).
And as a black woman . . . this "friend," didn't hear me. The company, the community, my allies . . . They didn't hear me. I was only seen as A talent, in the workplace, I was even faulted for being quiet, in the office (a choice I made, whenever I felt uncomfortable) . . . I soon noticed that my authentic self wasn't welcomed (I can clearly remember walking into the office and only receiving a glance of acknowledgement), this company did not want to hear my voice; I was the one who would brought up concerns in the privilege that some students were allowed to have vs others, the treatment that my trans student encountered, the disrespect that I encountered in previous years, of working for this company, plus my needs in the job I was hired to do, but not fully compensated for. Years back, I began to speak up, so I wrote an Open Letter, describing my mistreatment, in more detail.
Moving forward, how do you all process getting older and how to utilize DISCERNMENT? Utilizing discernment is a key element, in determining who you align with - who should be in your circle, who should be in your camp, your tribe. . . pretty much where you can access support. Do you ‘unfriend and unfollow’ or remove a connection or contact? What do you do when a connection seems off?
If you recently made new/genuine connections, then you find out that these connections are still connected and continue to support someone (a company) who caused you massive harm and who became your oppressor . . . how would you handle this?
We all know of worldly oppressors who commit cruel atrocities or devalue everyone having fair human rights. But in simple terms, someone who is deemed as an oppressor is also someone who prevents you from having the same opportunities, freedom, and benefits of others, to keep down by unjust use of power. I experienced the latter = the misuse of power that unconsciously discriminated against me, taking away my income, which in turn, caused haphazard effects on both my mental and physical well-being.
So again, how do you utilize DISCERNMENT...when it comes to making new connections, who genuinely support you/your work/your efforts . . . but, of whom also unintentionally trigger your past, unhealed pain?